Many people aren’t religious. They never believed and so would hate religion to be a part of their funeral.
But not including anything religious in a funeral can be harder than you might expect. For poems you could go through tons of them and every time you find one you love come to the last two lines and theres something about meeting again in paradise.
So every poem on this list has been checked for those religious lines. Some are classics that are free to print in your program. Some are originals we wrote for families planning a secular service. And there’s a section near the end on popular “non religious” poems that aren’t quite as secular as they look.
What Makes a Funeral Poem Non Religious?
A truly non religious funeral poem doesn’t mention God, heaven, angels, prayer or a reunion after death. It talks about the life that was lived, the people left behind and the fact of loss.
Back in 2019 the National Funeral Directors Association found that only 35% of people they surveyed felt religion was an important part of a loved one’s funeral. Celebrants, humanist officiants and celebration of life gatherings are everywhere now and they all need readings.
Before you decide on a poem read it all the way to the end and look out for these words:
- God, Lord, Father or Master (sometimes with a capital letter as the only clue)
- Heaven, paradise, the other side or “a better place”
- Angels, wings or halos
- “Called home” or “taken home”
- “Until we meet again” or anything about waiting for us
- Pray or prayer
If the person who died was more spiritual but not religious then a poem about stars or the wind carrying them might feel just right. If they were a committed atheist you’ll probably want to stay away from anything that hints at an afterlife.
Classic Non Religious Funeral Poems
These are older poems that are now in the public domain which means you can print them in a funeral program or read them aloud without asking anyone’s permission. They’ve been read at secular funerals for a very long time because they’re honest about death without trying to explain it away.
Remember
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
By Christina Rossetti
This is probably the most requested non religious funeral poem there is. Yes, the word “pray” appears once but only to say it’ll be too late for it. The heart of the poem is that last line.
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Song (When I Am Dead, My Dearest)
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
By Christina Rossetti
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Sonnet 71
No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so,
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot,
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse,
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan,
And mock you with me after I am gone.
By William Shakespeare
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Fear No More the Heat o’ the Sun
Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.
Fear no more the frown o’ the great;
Thou art past the tyrant’s stroke;
Care no more to clothe and eat;
To thee the reed is as the oak:
The sceptre, learning, physic, must
All follow this, and come to dust.
Fear no more the lightning flash,
Nor the all-dreaded thunder stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finish’d joy and moan:
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.
By William Shakespeare, from Cymbeline
The original song has a fourth verse about witchcraft and ghosts which most families leave out. These first three verses work beautifully on their own especially for someone who worked hard their whole life and finally gets to put it all down.
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Requiem
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
By Robert Louis Stevenson
Stevenson wrote this as his own epitaph and the last two lines ended up carved on his grave in Samoa. It’s short enough to read even if your voice is shaking. If you’re reading it for a woman lots of families change “he” to “she” and nobody minds.
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Dirge Without Music
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
By Edna St. Vincent Millay
This one isn’t comforting. If the death was unfair or too soon or if you’re just plain angry Millay gets it. “I know. But I do not approve” sums it up.
Nature Poems for a Non Religious Funeral
For a lot of people who don’t believe in an afterlife the comfort comes from somewhere else entirely. We go back into the earth and the trees keep growing. The seasons keep turning. These poems focus on that idea and they’re lovely for anyone who spent their happiest hours outdoors.
From Song of Myself
I depart as air, I shake my white locks at the runaway sun,
I effuse my flesh in eddies, and drift it in lacy jags.
I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,
If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.
You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,
But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,
And filter and fibre your blood.
Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you.
By Walt Whitman
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Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
By Robert Frost
There’s a passing mention of Eden but it’s used as a picture of things fading rather than anything religious. It’s only eight lines which makes it a good choice for a young person or anyone whose life felt far too short.
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Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
By Robert Frost
People read this one in two different ways at funerals. Some hear it as the person who died finally getting to rest. Others hear it as a message to the rest of us that we still have promises to keep. Either way it works.
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Don’t look for me in polished stone,
In lilies or in lace;
Look where the creek talks to the rocks,
Look for the open space.
I spent my years in muddy boots
And never minded rain,
So when the maples turn to gold
You’ll find me there again.
Not in a ghostly sort of way,
I never meant to haunt,
But in the things I taught you to love,
And that’s all I’d ever want.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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She planted bulbs in late October
Not knowing if she’d see them bloom,
That was the kind of faith she had,
In dirt and time and leaving room.
So when the tulips come this spring
Up through the cold and stubborn ground,
They won’t be a sign or a message,
Just her, still working, all around.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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Poems About a Life Well Lived
Without heaven to point to a lot of secular funerals focus on what the person did with their time. Who they helped and what they built. How they made people feel. These readings are all about that and they suit a life well lived perfectly.
Success
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.
By Bessie Anderson Stanley
You’ll often see this credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson but it was actually written by Bessie Anderson Stanley for a magazine contest in 1905. It’s prose rather than a poem but it reads very well out loud. Lots of families tweak “he” to “she” and smooth out the old fashioned bits about women and men.
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If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
By Emily Dickinson
This one is lovely for a nurse, a teacher, a volunteer or anybody who spent their life looking after other people.
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Dying Speech of an Old Philosopher
I strove with none, for none was worth my strife:
Nature I loved, and, next to Nature, Art:
I warm’d both hands before the fire of life;
It sinks, and I am ready to depart.
By Walter Savage Landor
I think this is perfect for someone who lived a long, full life and went peacefully, the kind of person who’d have said they had a good run.
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We won’t count up the years you had,
Or what you earned, or where you went;
We’ll count the kitchens that you filled,
The rides you gave, the cards you sent.
The terrible jokes you told on purpose,
The honest answers when we asked,
The way you made a stranger welcome
Like it was never any task.
That’s the measure, that’s the total,
And by that count it’s plain to see
You left the world a little warmer
Than it had any right to be.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
Original Non Religious Funeral Poems for Family and Friends
This is where I’ve struggled the most. Almost every poem written “for Mom” or “for Dad” seems to put them in heaven by the second verse. So we wrote these ourselves and you’re welcome to read them at a service or print them in a program. If you’d like religious options too we have whole collections of funeral poems for moms and funeral poems for dads.
A Non Religious Poem for Mom
I don’t picture her in clouds,
I don’t need her up above;
I find her in the way I fold
The towels, and how I love.
She’s there when I can’t leave a dish
Unwashed before I sleep,
And in the promises I make
And actually keep.
So if you’re looking for my mom
You won’t have far to go;
She’s in her children, every one,
More than she’ll ever know.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
A Non Religious Poem for Dad
Dad never trusted the instructions,
He’d rather work it out by hand;
He taught me how to change a tire
And when to take a stand.
He didn’t talk much about feelings,
He showed them with a wrench:
A bike seat raised, a gutter cleared,
New paint on the porch bench.
He’d laugh at talk of the great beyond,
He’d tell us not to fuss;
The only afterlife he wanted
Was living on in us.
So I’ll keep his toolbox tidy
And his good advice in sight,
And every time I fix a thing
I’ll know I did it right.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
A Non Religious Poem for a Grandmother
Everything important
Happened at her table:
The homework and the heartbreak,
The fights we weren’t able
To settle anywhere else, the pie,
The coffee, black and strong,
The card games that she let us win,
The radio’s old song.
The table’s in the kitchen still,
The chairs are tucked back in,
And every one of us who sat there
Carries her within.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
You can easily swap “her” for “his” if it’s for a grandpa. For more ideas take a look at our funeral poems for grandmothers.
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A Non Religious Poem for a Husband or Wife
We never needed promises
Of some reunion far away;
We had the life we had, my love,
And we had it every day.
We had the coffee in the morning,
The arguments about the heat,
The hand I reached for in the dark
And always found there, warm and sweet.
I won’t pretend you’re somewhere waiting,
You’d roll your eyes and call it fluff;
You’d say we did a lot of living.
And, love, you’re right. It was enough.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
A Non Religious Poem for a Friend
You were the one I’d call at midnight
And the one who’d answer, too;
The one who heard my worst ideas
And came along to see them through.
I don’t know where you’ve gone, exactly,
I’ve never claimed to know such things,
But I know what you were to us
And all that remembering brings:
The laugh that comes before the crying,
The stories no one else can tell,
That road trip with the flat tire
And how you shrugged and said “oh well.”
So here’s to you, my oldest friend,
No halo and no wings,
Just a hand on my shoulder all these years
And all the ordinary things.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
A Non Religious Poem for Someone Who Died Young
Nobody’s going to tell me
There was a reason for it,
Or that you’re in a better place;
You’d see right through it.
You were young and loud and stubborn
And funny and halfway grown,
And the world got smaller and quieter
The morning you were gone.
So we won’t make it pretty,
We’ll just say what is true:
You mattered and you’re missed
And we will keep on loving you.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
When a young person dies the usual comforting phrases can feel hollow or even insulting. This poem doesn’t try to make sense of it.
Short Non Religious Verses for Programs and Cards
Not everyone wants to stand up and read a full poem. These short verses fit nicely on the back of a funeral program, a memorial card or a photo board. Some are pulled from older poems and the rest are our own. You’ll find more ideas in our short funeral verses for cards.
From Hallowed Ground
To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
By Thomas Campbell
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From For the Fallen
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
By Laurence Binyon
This verse was written for soldiers killed in World War I, and it’s still read at military and veterans’ services today. It’s a moving choice for anyone who served.
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But never from our stories.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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A long day’s work, a setting sun.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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That’s the whole of it,
And it was plenty.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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We’ll spend our lives
Trying to keep it that way.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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What we learned stays.
You stay.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
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You earned it.
By Sympathy Message Ideas
If you’re writing in a sympathy card for a family who isn’t religious these alternatives to “thoughts and prayers” and alternatives to “rest in peace” might help too.
Modern Non Religious Funeral Poems Worth Looking Up
Some of the best known secular funeral poems were written in the last hundred years and are still under copyright so sadly we can’t reprint them here. They’re easy to find in poetry collections or on the publishers’ websites though and they’re well worth a look. If you plan to print one in a programit’s a good idea to ask your funeral home or celebrant about permissions first.
- Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden. The “stop all the clocks” poem. It’s heartbroken and many people know it from the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral.
- Late Fragment by Raymond Carver. Just a few lines about feeling beloved on this earth. Short and completely secular.
- When Death Comes by Mary Oliver. A poem about living fully so that, at the end, you weren’t just a visitor in your own life. Lovely for anyone curious and adventurous.
- She Is Gone by David Harkins. Often read as “He Is Gone.” It asks the listener to smile because the person lived rather than cry because they’ve gone.
- If I Should Go by Joyce Grenfell. A short, funny and very human request not to put on a “Sunday voice” after she’s gone.
- The Dash by Linda Ellis. Hugely popular at celebrations of life. Just be aware the author actively protects her copyright so check the official site before printing it anywhere.
You might notice Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep isn’t on this list. It never mentions God but the whole poem is the dead person saying “I did not die” so it suits a spiritual family better than a strictly atheist one.
“Non Religious” Poems That Aren’t Quite as Secular as They Look
A few poems turn up on almost every non religious funeral list online but they have a religious line hidden in that’s easy to miss when you’re tired and grieving.
- Death Is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland. It’s warm and conversational but it was originally part of a sermon. It asks the listener to “pray for me” and ends by looking forward to meeting again.
- Crossing the Bar by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. It reads like a sailing poem until the final lines where Tennyson hopes to see his “Pilot face to face.” He meant God.
- Miss Me But Let Me Go. This anonymous poem is lovely but it describes death as part of “the Master’s plan” which is a religious idea.
None of these are bad choices. Lots of secular families still use them especially if some relatives are religious and others aren’t. Just read them through first so the last line doesn’t catch anyone off guard.
You’ll find a few of them along with other uplifting readings in our poems for a celebration of life.
How to Choose and Read a Poem at a Non Religious Funeral
Talk to Your Celebrant or Officiant First
Humanist and secular celebrants have heard thousands of readings and they’ll often have a favorite or two to suggest. They can also tell you how long the service will run and where a poem fits best.
A reading usually comes after the eulogy or just before the final goodbye.
Think About Who Will Be in the Room
A non religious funeral doesn’t mean a room full of non religious people. There might be multiple people who are devout. A poem about nature, memory or a life well lived works for everyone, whatever they believe. Something angrier like the Millay might be better suited to a smaller gathering.
Keep It Short
A sonnet like “Remember” takes well under a minute. If you’re nervous it’s best to choose something short.
Make It Yours
With our original poems feel free to change “he” to “she,” add in a nickname or add a line about the dog. With classic poems it’s more respectful to read them as written though changing a pronoun is very common and nobody will think twice.
Print a Copy in Large Type
Funeral home lighting can be dim and your hands might shake. Print the poem in a big, double spaced font and keep a spare copy with someone in the front row just in case.
If you’re also planning what to say on the day our guides on what to say at a celebration of life and what to say when scattering ashes have secular wording ideas.
Final Thoughts
I hope one of these poems helps you say that. And if none of them quite fits, write your own. Four lines about the person you loved will mean more to the people listening than the most famous poem in the world.
