I’ve seen quite a few families stick to one rule when throwing a celebration of life – no slow songs until the very end. If the deceased was someone who spent their life dancing around their kitchen they would have hated a room full of people staring at their shoes while an organ droned on. … Read more
I’ve been lucky enough to never receive a text message telling me someone had died. I can only image how hard it is to process something like that. But I have had to be the one who sends the messages. When a family member of mine passed I had a list of names in my … Read more
What people remember distinctly after losing someone has changed over the years. Nowadays it’s their phone. In the days after you lose a loved one your phone is ringing and buzzing non stop. And every time it can feel like a small demand for something you don’t have to give. People are being kind and … Read more
It feels weird to say it but the first thing I felt when my mother died was not sadness but relief. And for a long time I didn’t tell anyone that. She had been slipping away for the better part of two years. First her memory, then her mobility, then the small dignities. By the … Read more
After my dad had been gone for about three weeks I still found myself testing him even though he was gone. Sending a message to someone who could never reply made me feel a bit ridiculous. And like maybe I was losing it a little. If you have done something similar, or you want to, … Read more
It can be hard to prepare you for getting the ashes of a loved one. There’s a lot of emotions and mixed feelings, but a lot of people are surprised that they Strat to think – what do I do now? You have your loved one’s ashes in your hands and you have to make … Read more
After a friend on mine died I couldn’t bring myself to delete their voicemail. What they’d said wasn’t anything important or special but for two years I’d play it whenever I missed the sound of them. Other friends thought it was a bit morbid. But to me it was the most natural thing in the … Read more
After a friend of mine had died quite recently I wrote a small tribute out. I had a lovely photo of us from a beach trip years ago and a few lines about what she meant to me. I was going to post it on social media but at the last minute thought better of … Read more
A few years ago a cousin of mine posted about my uncle before most of the family even knew he’d died. She meant well and was heartbroken so wanted somewhere to put that. But my aunt found out her husband had passed from a Facebook notification, before anyone had the chance to call her properly, … Read more
After a funeral when everything has quietened down it’s not uncommon to be left with lots of sympathy cards you don’t quite know what to do with. I remember it after losing my husband. The cards kept coming for weeks and every one of them meant something. But the pile got bigger and bigger and … Read more