When you find out someone you knew has died but it’s wasn’t recently you can be forgiven for panicking. It could be that you were just scrolling through Facebook or chatting with an old friend and then you’re hit with the news. There’s the grief, of course. But there’s also guilt. You weren’t there. You … Read more
It can be very awkward when you find out someone you’ve lost touch with has had a death in the family. You want to reach out. You really should reach out. But you’re probably thinking: won’t it be weird after all this time? You might have drifted apart with no real falling out. Maybe life … Read more
When you’re saying goodbye to someone who served in the military or their country it can feel like ordinary words aren’t enough. A veteran’s life has dealt with something most us will never understand and a funeral is the moment to honor that. The right poem can do all of that for you when your … Read more
Being asked to be a pallbearer is meant to be an honor. And most of the time it is. But sometimes you don’t feel up to it. It could be that your grief is so bad that the thought of carrying the casket feels like too much. Or the timing is wrong. And then you’re … Read more
There aren’t really any words that fix a stillbirth. I want to say that right at the start because if you’ve found your way here hoping I’ll be able to give you the perfect words that takes away someone’s pain then I’d be lying to you. But there are both kinder things you can say … Read more
Some losses don’t get a funeral. A miscarriage means there’s no church or casket. Quite often people seem not to even notice or you haven’t told them. And so a baby you loved with everything you had before you ever got to hold them is gone. If you’re in this position you’ll probably find any … Read more
There is nothing harder to write than some words about a baby who has gone. It feels almost impossible. The point of a eulogy is to look back over a long life and recount the stories, habits, laughter and parts that made someone who they were. But when your baby only had hours or days … Read more
It’s one of the hardest things to find words for. When someone you care about has been through IVF and it hasn’t worked, or they’ve lost a pregnancy after everything they put themselves through to get there, you want to say something. You are also terrified of saying the wrong thing. It’s completely normal to … Read more
Writing an obituary is something no one likes doing. You have to do it when you’re grieving and exhausted and then suddenly you’re expected to sum up a whole life of a loved one in a few short paragraphs. Sometimes to a tight deadline. It a lot of pressure at a very hard time. The … Read more
Saying goodbye to your husband is hard to put into words. He was your partner, the one who knew the everyday ordinary version of you that nobody else got to see. And now you’re being asked to stand up and somehow sum all of that up at his funeral. This is where a poem can … Read more