When you’re waiting for surgery, be it a routine procedure or something more serious, it’s understandable to feel nervous in the days beforehand. And if it’s someone you care about going under the knife you probably want to say something. The trouble is knowing what.
You don’t want to be too gushing but on the other end of the spectrum make them any more anxious than they already are. And you definitely don’t want to say something that comes out wrong and upsets them.
So I put this guide together to help take the pressure off. You’ll find positive and comforting words to say to someone before surgery.
If you’re thinking ahead to their recovery too then our get well wishes are worth a look for after the operation is done.
What to Say to Someone Before Surgery
If you just need a simple message to send or write in a card these positive words work for almost anyone that is about to have surgery.
- Thinking of you today. You’ve got this and I’ll be right here when it’s over
- Sending you calm and strength for tomorrow. You’re in good hands
- Just a quick note to say I’m thinking of you ahead of your surgery. Wishing you a smooth procedure and an easy recovery
- You’re stronger than you know. I’ll be thinking of you every minute
- Wishing you steady hands for your surgeons and a peaceful mind for you
- One step closer to feeling better. I’m rooting for you
- You don’t have to be brave for me, just know I’m in your corner
- Sending all my love and good thoughts your way today
- Soon this will be behind you. Take it easy and let everyone look after you
- I’ll be holding you in my thoughts until I hear you’re out and resting
If you want something that you can adapt more for your situation then keep reading. I’ve split the rest up by relationship so you can find words that fit what you’re looking for.
Short and Simple Messages
Less is more is appropriate in many cases. The night before surgery nobody wants to read an essay. A short message that says I’m here and I’m thinking of you is going to be good enough.
- Thinking of you. Big hugs
- Good luck tomorrow. You’ve got this
- Sending strength and love
- Here for you, before and after
- Wishing you a smooth surgery and a speedy recovery
- You’re going to be just fine. Talk soon
Messages for a Friend
With a close friend you can be a bit more yourself. Some extra warmth, maybe a touch of humor if that’s suitable for your friendship. Definitely make it clear that you’re not going anywhere.
- I know you’re nervous and that’s completely normal. But you are tougher than you give yourself credit for. I’ll be waiting to hear all about it
- You’ve handled harder things than this. Go in there, get it done and I’ll bring the snacks for your recovery
- Thinking of you so much today. The moment you’re allowed visitors I’m there
- I wish I could take the nerves away for you. Just know I’m thinking of you the whole time
- Send me a thumbs up the second you’re awake and I’ll stop refreshing my phone every five minutes
Messages for Family
When it’s a parent, sibling, close relative or other family member you’ll feel more worried. It’s okay to show that in what you say. You don’t have to pretend you’re not scared too but try to be reassuring as well.
- I love you and I’ll be thinking of you every second you’re in there. We’ll get through this together like we always do
- You have looked after all of us for so long. Now it’s our turn to look after you. Rest easy
- Whatever you need before, during or after, I’m here. Don’t even think about anything else right now
- The whole family is sending love and good thoughts your way today
- I’ll be at the hospital, by the phone, wherever you need me. You are not doing this alone
Messages for a Partner or Spouse
For the person you share your life with the words can be more personal. This is less about the right phrase and more about being there for them.
- I’ll be there when you fall asleep and there when you wake up. Always
- You and me, we handle everything together and this is no different. I love you
- I’m not going anywhere. Close your eyes, let them do their job and I’ll be the first face you see
- However long it takes I’ll be in that waiting room counting the minutes until I can hold your hand again
A Little Light Relief
Not everyone wants serious. If your person copes with humor then a funny message can ease the tension better than anything else you would say. Make sure you are reading the room right though as this only works if you know they’ll appreciate it.
- Try not to flirt with the anesthetist. Save that energy for your recovery nap
- Free bed, people waiting on you, drugs that make you say funny things. Honestly it sounds like a spa day
- You’d better come out of this with a good story. I’m expecting drama
- Whatever you mumble coming out of the anesthetic, I promise to never repeat it. Probably
Religious and Prayer Messages
If whoever it is having surgery is religious or has a strong faith then letting them know you’re praying can mean a lot to them before surgery. For more along these lines our comforting Bible verses are a great place to start.
- Praying for steady hands, a peaceful heart and a full recovery. God is with you
- You are covered in prayer today. May you feel that peace as you go in
- Wishing you God’s comfort and healing. I’ll be praying the whole time
- May you feel surrounded by love and grace today. You are not facing this alone
How to Say It
What people will remember before their surgery is that someone reached out at all. So what you’ve said isn’t as important as you might think. But there are a few small things that can make your message go down well.
Keep It Calm and Reassuring
The nerves that come before surgery are real. Whatever you write try to make them feel more confident about their surgery than before they read it. Speak highly of their medical team and how strong they are. Lines like you’re in good hands or you’ve got this tell them everything is going to be okay without making promises you can’t keep.
Be Specific About Being There
I’ll be thinking of you is lovely. I’ll be at the hospital at nine with coffee is going to make them feel better. The more concrete your support the more comforting it feels. People are far more reassured by a plan than some kind words.
Match the Tone to the Person
A nervous worrier needs something to calm them. A joker might want a laugh to break the tension. Someone very private might just want a short note that doesn’t make a fuss over everything. You know them so go with whatever fits.
What to Avoid Saying
There are a few things that, however well meant, that are wrong to say or inappropriate before an operation.
- Horror stories. Now is not the time to mention someone else you knew who’s surgery went wrong. Keep the scary anecdotes to yourself
- Empty promises. Don’t tell them everything will definitely be fine if you can’t know that. Reassuring them is good but false guarantees are not
- Making it about you. It’s natural to be worried but try not to offload your own fear onto someone who’s about to go into theater
- Going overboard. Being too dramatic or emotional in your message can come across like you’ve already given up hope. Keep it warm and steady instead
Final Thoughts
Whatever you choose to send it’s the the act of sending that counts the most. All you really need to do is let them know they’re on your mind and that you’ll be there on the other side of it.
And don’t forget about after too. The period of recovery can feel long and lonely so a thinking of you message a few days in often means as much as the one before surgery did. Our thinking of you quotes are good for that and if their surgery is part of a bigger health battle our sympathy messages for a cancer diagnosis may help you find the right words too.
