There is nothing harder to write than some words about a baby who has gone. It feels almost impossible.
The point of a eulogy is to look back over a long life and recount the stories, habits, laughter and parts that made someone who they were. But when your baby only had hours or days or a handful of weeks that looking back is so short. And cruel, frankly.
I want to say right at the start that whatever you manage to say is enough. If you stand up and only get three sentences out before you have to sit back down that is a complete and beautiful eulogy.
Nobody is going to judge you long it is or how well it’s delivered. They’re there because they loved your baby too.
This page is for the very youngest losses – newborns, babies who lived a short while and babies who were stillborn or never got to come home. If you lost an older child you might find our child eulogy examples are a better fit as those focus more on memories and personality. Here we’ve kept everything shorter because an infant eulogy almost always is.
What Makes an Infant Eulogy Different
A normal eulogy is written using memories from over a full life. An infant eulogy isn’t, and trying to write one the usual way is it going to work.
So instead of years of stories an infant eulogy is made up of these things:
- The love. How much this baby was wanted, how much they were already loved before they ever arrived
- The hopes. The future you’d imagined, the room you’d painted, the name you’d chosen and what it means
- The moments you did get. A first cry, how they felt in your arms, the way they gripped your finger etc.
- The impact. Even the shortest life changes people. This baby made you a parent. That doesn’t go away
- Who they were, or who you sensed they’d be. Some parents knew their baby’s temperament even in those few hours. If you did then include it
Sadly this is more common than people realize and very few people talk about it. In the US around 1 in every 175 births ends in stillbirth, and that’s tens of thousands of families a year going through what you’re going through.
You are not the only person who has had to find these words. That doesn’t make it hurt less but I hope it makes you feel a little less alone as you write it.
How Long Should an Infant Eulogy Be
Short. A minute or two is normal and completely fine. Many parents will speak for far less than that.
Don’t pad it out to hit some length uou feel you should or have to. A few sentences will move people far more than multiple paragraphs that don’t say much.
If standing up feels like too much that’s allowed too. Lots of parents write the eulogy and then ask a sibling, close friend or the celebrant to read it for them.
Writing it is the hard part. It matters much less who reads it.
Infant Eulogy Examples
These are starting points. Take any part that feels right, change the bits that don’t fit and just leave the rest. I’ve put a baby’s name in brackets like [baby’s name] so you can put your own in. Each example is separated by a divider.
Eulogy for a Newborn Who Lived a Short While
Thank you all for being here today for [baby’s name].
[He/She] was with us for such a short time, but every single second of it was wanted. We got to hold [him/her]. We got to memorize [his/her] face. We got to be [his/her] mom and dad, and we will be for the rest of our lives.
People keep saying [he/she] was here for the blink of an eye. Maybe so. But it was the most important blink of our lives, and we wouldn’t trade a moment of it to spare ourselves this pain.
[Baby’s name], we love you. We always will. Rest now, little one.
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I’m not going to stand here and pretend I have the right words, because there aren’t any.
[Baby’s name] was born on [date] and [he/she] was perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a grip on my finger I can still feel. For the hours we had [him/her], [he/she] knew nothing but warmth and love, and I take some comfort in that. [He/She] was never cold. [He/She] was never alone. [He/She] was held the whole time [he/she] was here.
Thank you for loving [him/her] with us. Thank you for being here now.
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We chose the name [baby’s name] long before [he/she] arrived. It means [meaning of name], and we picked it because that’s exactly who we hoped [he/she] would be.
We didn’t get to find out what kind of person [he/she] would become. But we got to feel what kind of love [he/she] would bring out in everyone, because look around this room. Every person here is here because of one tiny baby. That’s not a small thing. That’s a life that mattered.
Eulogy for a Stillborn Baby
Today we are saying hello and goodbye to [baby’s name] at the same time, and there’s a particular cruelty in that I’ll never fully make sense of.
[He/She] never opened [his/her] eyes. [He/She] never cried. But [he/she] was real. [He/She] kicked. [He/She] hiccupped at two in the morning. [He/She] had a name and a future and two parents who already loved [him/her] more than we knew was possible.
Being stillborn does not make [him/her] any less our [son/daughter]. [He/She] is and always will be our child, and [name of any siblings]’s [brother/sister], and part of this family forever.
We will carry you with us everywhere, [baby’s name]. You came quietly, but you are not forgotten. Not for one single day.
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I carried [baby’s name] for [number] months. I felt [him/her] grow, I talked to [him/her], I planned a whole life around [him/her]. And although [he/she] never got to be here in the way we wanted, [he/she] was here. [He/She] was part of us, and [he/she] still is.
Grief like this is just love with nowhere to go. So today we’re giving it somewhere to go – to this baby, who we will love for as long as we live.
Goodnight, sweet [boy/girl]. We were so proud to be your parents.
Eulogy for a Baby Who Lived Weeks or Months
[Baby’s name] was with us for [number] precious months, and in that time [he/she] taught us more about love than we’d learned in all the years before [he/she] arrived.
[He/She] had this [describe a real detail – laugh, expression, sound] that I would give anything to hear one more time. [He/She] loved [a real detail – being rocked, a particular song, bath time]. [He/She] hated [a real detail – the car seat, having socks on]. These are the things I never want to forget, so I’m saying them out loud today, so you’ll remember them too.
[Number] months is not enough. It will never be enough. But it was [his/her] whole life, and it was full of love from the first day to the last. We made sure of that.
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People talk about babies bringing light into a home. [Baby’s name] brought floodlights.
[He/She] was only here a short while but [he/she] was so completely [himself/herself] – [a couple of real traits, e.g. stubborn, calm, nosy, smiley]. We knew exactly who [he/she] was. And the house has been so quiet without [him/her] that the silence is its own kind of loud.
I don’t know how to do the rest of life without [him/her] yet. But I do know I’m grateful, even now, even today, that I got to be [his/her] [mom/dad]. That part I’d never undo.
A Short Infant Eulogy
[Baby’s name] was small. [His/Her] life was short. But [he/she] was loved with everything we had, and [he/she] always will be.
We didn’t get enough time. We never will. But we got to love you, [baby’s name], and we always will. Thank you for being ours, even for a little while.
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To everyone here – thank you for loving [baby’s name], and for loving us.
[He/She] only knew warmth, safety and love. That’s the whole story of [his/her] life, and honestly, it’s a better story than a lot of people get. Sleep well, little one. We’ve got you.
A Religious Infant Eulogy
We believe [baby’s name] was a gift, given to us for a little while and then called home far sooner than we were ready for.
I won’t pretend I understand it. I’ve asked why more times than I can count. But I do hold onto the belief that [he/she] is safe now, held in arms even gentler than ours, never to know pain or fear or sickness. [He/She] is home.
Until we see you again, [baby’s name], we will love you and miss you every single day. Rest in peace, our little one.
An Infant Eulogy to Be Read by Someone Else
[Mom] and [Dad] have asked me to share a few words today, because the love is theirs but the strength to stand up here right now is a lot to ask.
They want you to know that [baby’s name] was wanted from the very first moment. That [he/she] was loved completely. And that being [his/her] parents, even for such a short time, is something they will always be proud of.
They asked me to say thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for not looking away from their grief. And thank you for remembering [baby’s name], today and in the days to come, because to a grieving parent there is no greater gift than hearing their child’s name spoken out loud.
Lines You Can Borrow
Sometimes you don’t need a whole eulogy but just one sentence to build around or to close on. Any of these can be taken straight out and used.
- [He/She] was here for a moment and loved for a lifetime
- We were your parents, we are your parents, and we always will be
- Such a small body, such an enormous amount of love
- You taught us how to love in a way nothing else ever could
- Grief this big is only love this big with nowhere left to go
- You were wanted, you were loved, and you were never, ever alone
- The blink of an eye, and the whole of our hearts
- We didn’t get enough time, but we got to be yours
Tips for the Day Itself
- Have a backup reader ready even if you fully intend to speak yourself. On the day you may not be able to and that’s fine. But knowing someone can step in takes the pressure off you
- Print it large and double spaced. If tears drop on to small text it can blue it and if your hand shake you’ll find bigger print easier to follow
- Say [baby’s name] out loud, as many times as feels right. Parents often tell me afterwards that hearing their baby’s name spoken in a room full of people was the part that meant the most
- You’re allowed to keep it. Some parents read the eulogy, others write it and decide to keep it private and just have it read or printed. Both are right
- Don’t worry about crying. Everyone there expects it and a eulogy delivered through tears is no less powerful. If anything it’s more
Final Thoughts
Writing a eulogy for your baby is one of the hardest things a person can be asked to do. But whatever you end up saying will be right.
If you need a little more help our guide on how to write a eulogy can offer some ideas and you may find some comfort in these funeral poems or gone too soon quotes to work in or read alongside your own words.
