Funeral Procession Etiquette: A Simple Guide for Drivers and Guests

When the funeral service is over what sometimes follows is the funeral procession. You may be asked to get in your car and line up behind the hearse.

If you’ve never driven in a funeral procession before, and most of us haven’t, it can feel a bit nerve wracking because you aren’t sure what to do.

You want to do it right. You don’t want to lose the car in front, hold everyone up or do something that looks disrespectful to the family.

But don’t be too worried as it’s much simpler than it seems. The funeral home staff do most of the organizing and all you have to do is stay calm, stay close and drive carefully.

If you’re feeling apprehensive about it then this guide goes through what to expect, how to drive in the line, what to do if you get separated and how to behave if you meet a procession as another driver. If you’re still deciding what to wear for the day our guide on what to wear to a funeral can help with that part.

What Is a Funeral Procession?

A funeral procession is the line of cars that travels together from the funeral service to the burial. Usually it goes from a church or funeral home to the cemetery but it can also start from the family’s home.

It’s an old tradition. The idea is that the people who loved the person go with them on the last part of the way instead of everyone making their own way there.

Not every funeral has one. If the burial is private or if there’s a cremation with no committal or if the cemetery is right next to the church then there may be no procession at all.

The Usual Order of Cars

Every funeral home does it a little differently but the line usually looks something like this:

• Lead car or escort. Often the funeral director, a police officer or a motorcycle escort. They set the pace and guide the line.
• Flower car. Some funerals have a car carrying the flowers, either at the front or just behind the hearse.
• The hearse.
• The immediate family. Often in a limousine provided by the funeral home or in their own cars.
• Pallbearers. Sometimes they ride together so they arrive at the grave in time to carry the casket.
• Extended family and close friends.
• Everyone else.

If you’re not close family just join toward the back. Staff will usually wave you to the right place so you don’t need to work out where you should be.

Should You Join the Procession?

If the burial is open to everyone and you plan to go, then yes, joining the procession is the normal thing to do. It’s usually the easiest way to get there anyway as you don’t need to find the cemetery on your own.

Check the program or listen for an announcement at the end of the service. The officiant or funeral director will often say something like “everyone is welcome to join us at the graveside”.

If the burial is for family only then don’t join the line. Leave after the service or stay for any gathering at the church.

It’s also fine to skip the procession and go straight to the cemetery or to miss the burial altogether. Work, children or a long drive home are all good reasons that the family will understand.

If you’d like to let the family know why you couldn’t stay our page on what to say when you can’t attend a funeral has some gentle wording.

Before You Set Off

The few minutes before the procession leaves are usually a bit busy. A few things help:

• Get to your car quickly. The family will leave soon after the casket is placed in the hearse and the line can’t move until everyone is ready.
• Follow the staff. Funeral home staff will tell you where to park and when to pull out. If you’re not sure then just ask them. They do this every week.
• Put your flag or sign on. Some funeral homes hand out small magnetic flags or dashboard cards that say “funeral”. Put it where they tell you.
• Turn your headlights on. This is the main way other drivers know you’re part of the procession. Some funeral homes also ask you to use your hazard lights.
• Put the cemetery address in your phone. Just in case you get separated from everyone. Do it before you start driving and not on the way.
• Use the bathroom first. Burials can take a while and many cemeteries don’t have facilities.

How to Drive in a Funeral Procession

Driving in a procession is slower and closer than normal driving. It can feel a little odd but you should get used to it quickly.

Keep Your Headlights On the Whole Way

Leave them on until you’re parked at the cemetery. If you were asked to use hazard lights keep those on too.

Stay Close, But Not Too Close

The idea is to keep the line together so other cars don’t cut in. Try to stay a short distance behind the car in front and keep that distance as consistent as possible.

That said, safety comes first. Leave enough room to stop if the car ahead brakes suddenly.

Drive Slowly and Steadily

Processions usually move below the speed limit, especially on local roads. Try to match the speed of the car in front of you. Don’t speed up to close a gap quickly or brake hard unless you need to.

Stay in Your Lane

Don’t pass other cars in the procession or try to move up the line. Keep your place from start to finish.

Follow the Lead Car at Lights and Intersections

This is the part that worries most people. The rules for processions are different from state to state and sometimes from city to city.

In some places a procession with a proper escort can go through a red light or stop sign together as long as the line stays unbroken. But others make every car obey traffic signals like normal.

So the safest approach is simple: only go through a red light if an escort or officer is clearly holding traffic and waving you on. If there’s no escort or you’re not sure then stop at the light like you normally would. You can catch up or make your own way to the cemetery if need be.

No Honking and No Phone

Keep the horn for real emergencies and leave your phone alone unless you’re using it for directions. Music is fine at a low volume but many people prefer to drive in quiet as it feels more fitting.

If You Get Separated

It happens, especially on busy roads or at lights. Don’t panic and don’t speed to catch up.

• Pull up the cemetery address you saved and drive there normally.
• Turn your headlights back to normal if you’re no longer with the line so other drivers aren’t confused.
• Don’t run a light or cut through traffic to rejoin. It’s not worth the risk.
• When you get to the cemetery park where the others have parked and walk over quietly.

If you’re a few minutes late nobody is going to be upset. Funeral directors usually wait until everyone has got there before the committal begins.

Arriving at the Cemetery

When the procession reaches the cemetery it will slow right down and follow the lanes to the grave. Staff or the escort will show you where to stop.

• Park where you’re directed, usually along the cemetery lane behind the other cars. Try not to park on graves or block the hearse.
• Turn off your headlights and hazards.
• Wait in your car until the family and the pallbearers have moved toward the grave. Then walk over.
• Stand back from the graveside so the family can have the seats under the tent if there is one.
• Keep conversation low until the committal is over.

If someone has been asked to say a few words at the grave our graveside speech examples might be useful to them.

If You’re a Pallbearer

Pallbearers usually have a set place in the procession so they arrive with the hearse and are ready to carry the casket at the cemetery. The funeral director will tell you where to be.

Stay with the other pallbearers, wait for the director’s signal and follow their lead when the casket is taken from the hearse. If you’ve been asked but don’t feel able to do it there’s help on how to decline being a pallbearer kindly.

Walking Processions

Not all processions are in cars. Some funerals have a walking procession where family and friends walk behind the hearse or the casket for part of the way from the church to a nearby cemetery.

You’ll also see walking processions in some faith and cultural traditions, at military funerals and at jazz funerals in New Orleans where a band leads mourners through the streets.

If you’re part of one:

• Walk at a slow pace and stay behind the family.
• Keep talking to a minimum unless the tradition is a joyful one with music.
• Wear comfortable shoes you can walk in and dress for the weather.
• Follow the lead of the funeral director, clergy or whoever is guiding the procession.

When You Meet a Funeral Procession on the Road

You don’t need to be part of the funeral to show respect. If you’re driving and you see a line of cars with their headlights on following a hearse then a few things are good manners everywhere:

• Yield. Let the procession go through even if your light has turned green and the line is still crossing.
• Never cut into the line. Splitting a procession can cause cars to lose their way and it can be upsetting for the family. It’s just rude.
• Don’t honk. Even if you’re running late.
• Be patient. Processions move slowly and it will pass soon.

In many places, especially in the South and in rural communities, drivers coming the other way pull over to the side of the road and wait until the procession has passed. It’s a lovely custom but only do it where it’s safe. On a highway or a busy road just carry on carefully.

If you’re on foot it’s kind to stop for a moment and let it pass. Some people bow their head, take off their hat or put a hand over their heart.

Families often notice these small gestures. It means a lot to see strangers stop and pause for someone they never knew.

Quick Do’s and Don’ts

• Do turn your headlights on and keep them on until you park.
• Do save the cemetery address before you leave.
• Do stay close to the car in front, with a safe gap.
• Do follow the funeral director and any escort.
• Do wait for the family to walk to the grave first.
• Don’t go through a red light unless an escort is clearly waving you on.
• Don’t pass other cars in the procession.
• Don’t honk or use your phone while driving.
• Don’t cut into a procession if you meet one on the road.

After the Burial

Once the committal is over there’s sometimes a meal or gathering at a church hall, a restaurant or the family’s home. There’s no procession for this part. You just drive there in your own time.

Our guide to funeral reception etiquette for guests covers what to expect and if you’re stuck for words when you get there, what to say at a funeral reception has lots of examples.

There’s nothing you can really do to prepare for driving behind a hearse. If you feel a bit unsure that’s normal. Just follow the car in front, take it slowly and let the funeral staff guide you.

But the family will remember the line of lights behind them and know that all those people came along to the very end. That’s what’s most important.