The usual way to offer your condolences or sympathy to someone who has suffered a loss is with a card or in person. But sending a text message is also an acceptable way if you prefer to or it’s your only option.
Most of us are connected to and have our phones with us at all times. They’ve become essential parts of our lives.
So it makes sense that things in the past we’d have never considered to use our phones for we now do.
And it also means we can connect with people when we wouldn’t have been able to. If you were out of the country, for example, or just a long way away, sending a text message means you can quickly offer your sympathy for a loss. Without your phone you would have had to have waited until you got back, saw them in person or even until the funeral.
So offering your condolences via text is a often a convenient and quick way to send a few words of comfort to those grieving a loss.
But if you’re not sure of the correct etiquette, or what exactly to say, then follow this guide and the use the example sympathy texts below.
How to Comfort Someone Who Is Grieving Through Text
- Offer your condolences – this may seem obvious but it’s the first thing you should say. It doesn’t have to be much more than a standard “I’m so sorry for your loss” but make it clear from the outset why you’re texting them and how sorry you are for what they’re going through or who they’ve lost.
- Depending on who the deceased was you may want to briefly mention something positive about them. If you new them then a few words about how great a person they were, or alternatively touch on how special and important they were to whoever you are texting.
- If you can then offer your support. When someone experiences a loss the grief can be all consuming. That means they will often need as much help as they can get whilst they go through the process of grieving. But many are uncomfortable to ask. So specifically let them know you can be there for them – “If you need anything at all – some help with chores, the kids taking to school, a cooked meal – I’d be more than happy to help”.
- Try to avoid saying anything inappropriate or offensive. For the most part you can’t really go wrong but there are a few things you shouldn’t really say – “everything happens for a reason” or “at least they lived a full life”. For a more extensive list see our guide of what not to say to someone grieving
- Say something! You may feel awkward about saying the wrong thing, using the wrong words, not sounding genuine enough etc. But that doesn’t matter. Silence is worse than a poorly worded attempt. People appreciate the effort, and knowing you care and are thinking of them. They won’t be concerned that it isn’t a work of Shakespearean literary perfection. So no excuses – send a quick text if nothing else!
Example Condolence Text Messages
- I am so deeply sorry for such a tragic loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers
- I just wanted to let you know all your friends will be there to comfort and support you through this
- I known these words will mean very little but I am truly sorry for your loss
- If you need anything I can be there. Don’t hesitate to reach out or ask
- I’m so sorry I can’t be with you right now. Please know I’m thinking of you and there in spirit
- I can’t begin to imagine how hard this is. Sending my love and thoughts
- My heart goes out to you during this terrible time
- You aren’t alone. We will all be there for you, no matter what
- My heartfelt condolences to you for your loss
- I will do my best to be there for and help you, whatever you need. I’ll stop by tomorrow
- Sending my love. I hope you can find sinn my a comfort in friends and family
- So sorry to learn of your loss. I’m passing by really soon so can bring anything you might need – food, groceries etc.
For a Friend
Your friends will need all the support they can get after a loss. Be there for them whilst they try to deal with their grief and send a text to show them you’re always there, whatever it is they need.
- I was so sorry to hear of ______’s passing. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through but I can be there if you need me
- I just heard about ______. I’m really sorry, I know how close you were. Sending loving thoughts
- I wish I could be with you right now, but when I get back I will do all I can to help. I’m truly sorry about your loss
- I can’t find the words to offer any comfort, but I hope you know how much I and everyone cares for and will be there to support you
- Thinking of you and hoping you find some comfort in the coming days. I’m always just a phone call or text away
- I will be praying for you to find solace and strength to face this terrible loss. Please reach out to me if there is anything you need
- I can only imagine how difficult this is. Just know that I love you
- If you need to talk or just someone to cry with then you know I’ll always be there for you
- A text message doesn’t seem like enough in these circumstances but it’s the only way I can get in touch right now. When I’m back I will see you properly, I promise
- My thoughts are with only you during this tragic time
For a Family Member
Use these text messages to reach out to family members grieving a loss.
- ______ was a wonderful person and will be greatly missed
- I’m here for if you need someone. I can help in whatever way you need and want to ease some of the burden if I can
- My deepest condolences for your loss. You are in my thoughts
- Praying for you to find some rest and peace after the devastation of losing a loved one
- We lost someone so special, I can’t quite believe it. My sympathy to you and your whole family
- I miss ______ so much. He/she was a one in a million. Please accept my condolences
- We want to offer our sympathy and our help after your loss. Let us do all we can to support you
- Would you like some company? I can come over or we could go out somewhere? Whatever you’d prefer or that might take your mind off things
- There is nothing I can say other than how sorry I am. Losing someone so loved is always heartbreaking. You are in my thoughts
- The memories of _____ will always be with us. He/she shall never be forgotten
For after a Funeral
After a funeral the bereaved will often be feeling incredibly sad and alone. Sending a quick message to check in with and let them know there are people thinking of them is really thoughtful. So use the message examples below to demonstrate you care and are always there for whoever it is.
- It was a lovely funeral and I feel lucky to have had the chance to be there. My thoughts are with you in this time of loss
- After such a trying day I’ll be thinking of you. All my love
- I understand that things will be hard for you for a while so I wanted to offer my help. If I can do anything at all I will
- It was a truly moving funeral. I will never forget ______. My condolences
- I didn’t get the chance to offer my condolences at the funeral so wanted to quickly let you know how sorry I was fit your loss
- Now the funeral is over you might need a little extra help with things. Be that chores or cooking I can do whatever you need
- I was out running some errands and thought there might be something you need? Let me know if I can grab something for you
- A funeral is so hard. You and your family will be in my thoughts during this difficult period
- Would you like to get a coffee or drink sometime soon? It would give you a chance to chat and get away from everything, if that’s what you’d like
- Just a quick message to say that I’m here, and I’m happy to help in any way I can
Hopefully this guide and the examples will have given you a clearer idea of what to send when texting someone after a loss.
Don’t worry about it being inappropriate or that you might say the wrong thing. Reach out to your friend or loved one and let them know just how much you care and are thinking about them as they grieve.