Sympathy and condolences aren’t just for those that have lost someone to death. The end of a relationship – breaking up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife – deserves just as much sympathy and support.
Breakups are so hard for those involved. Splitting up with the person you’ve loved is heartbreaking and it’s in the days, weeks and months after when they will need the support and love of friends and family the most.
But knowing what to say to someone going through a breakup is hard. Finding the words to offer them comfort and tell them it’s going to be alright isn’t easy.
What is the right thing to say? How do you offer your sympathy and when is the best time?
So if you’re struggling with a sympathy message for someone going through a breakup then use the example messages below to help you to be there for them and give them the support they require.
What to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup?
If you would prefer some examples of comforting words you can say when someone is going through a breakup then these short messages should be perfect.
- I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. He/she didn’t deserve you
- If you need someone then I can always be there to talk. Please don’t think twice about calling
- I know no words can help take away you pain but I hope it offers some comfort to know I’m thinking of you
- I wish there was more I could do to help. All I can think to say is you will get over them and through this
- I was so really sorry to hear you and ______ had broken up. I hope you’re doing ok
- I can’t begin to understand how hard this must be for you but wanted you to know I’m always here
- Stay strong and let yourself feel sad over what you’ve lost. All my best and lots of love
- You don’t deserve to be treated lie this and we’re far too good for him/her, anyway. They don’t know what they’ve lost
- Let’s go out and enjoy ourselves and help you to forget all about your ex
- Let your friends be there for you and bring you what you need during this time: wine and chocolate!
If you want to write or say something else or use your own words then keep reading for a far more in depth look at what and how to say and what not to say.
Take it One Day at a Time
Time really is a healer, but right after a breakup it can be hard to get through just one day. You can be there for a loved one going through the end of a relationship by helping them to take each day as it comes
Don’t rush and pressure them to get through it. Let them grieve for their lost boyfriend/girlfriend in their own way and at their own speed. Remind them to take it one day at a time and always be there for them as they need it.
You Won’t Feel Like this Forever
After a breakup it can feel like you will never know happiness again. The pain clouds you’re thinking and makes it hard to see the reality.
Your job is to remind them that whilst it feels dreadful now, they will get through it. Everyone has experienced heartbreak at some point. But, given time, have recovered and gone on to love again.
You’re Better Off
This can drift into being too vague and like the usual, cliched sentiments everyone offers to those feeling sad but it doesn’t have to. As long as you demonstrate why they’re better off without their ex then it will provide some genuine help and comfort.
Make it clear why they weren’t good for them, go through their negative points and talk up all the excitement and opportunities that being single can bring.
Don’t Lose Hope
After breaking up with who you thought was the love of your life it can be hard not to have lost hope and faith in love. Having friends around to remind you that there is hope and you will find someone again can make a real difference.
So tell whoever it is that is missing their ex that they shouldn’t give up on love. They can and will still find that happiness they want and even though this is a setback and they’re feeling lost there is hope.
It’s OK to be Sad
Many of us feel like our grief or hurt after a breakup isn’t warranted. We care embarrassed or maybe even ashamed of how deeply we feel over the loss of a relationship.
As a friend or family member you can be there to let them know that it’s fine and normal to be sad and upset after a breakup. Help them accept that and then work through the way they are feeling.
Being by their side to get through the worst times, but also to just listen to what they need to get off their chest is essential to helping a friend deal with the ending of a relationship.
What Not to Say to Someone Who is Going Through a Breakup?
There are some things you should not say and topics to avoid talking about after a breakup.
Everything Happens for a Reason
This is one of the worst things you can say to anyone going through any sort of difficult time. No one thinks that they’ve broken up for any good reason. There isn’t anything that can hope to explain or make a good case for a relationship ending badly. All you’re likely to do is upset whoever you say it to that is going through a breakup.
There’s Plenty More Fish in the Sea
This is another classic cliche that offers nothing to help those hurting after a breakup. It also trivializes the relationship and makes it seem like they can just quickly move on. Avoid saying this and focus instead on making them feel better, listening and being there when they need you.
Couldn’t you Have Been Nicer/More Understanding
This is just placing the blame on them. Yes, you have to compromise and make sacrifices in a relationship but somethings go beyond that. You can’t always expect someone to give in on some of their most fundamental beliefs or wants.
So instead of framing the breakdown of their relationship around them not being understanding you should try to understand their decisions and choices. Comfort them over what is gone and wasn’t meant to be, not chastize them.
I Never Liked Them Anyway
Right after a breakup is not the time to start getting petty and personal. Even if you didn’t like their ex and were justified in not doing so.
They may not have been aware of your dislike for their partner either, and could feel upset you hadn’t been completely honest with them.
Instead you can talk about the complaints they themselves may have had about their ex and make them understand that they won’t have to deal with them anymore.
You’ll Find Someone Else
This is, again, an often used cliche that does more harm than good. They don’t want someone else, they want the person they’ve just split from. All you’re doing is essentially saying they can find someone else who is inferior to the person they really want.
Now, in time they probably will find so prone else. But right after a breakup is not the time to talk about it.
Encouraging Messages for After a Breakup
I know it’s a cliche but time is a healer. It may hurt right now but eventually you will feel better and move on. Until then I’m always here for you
Sending you the biggest hugs after your breakup. I know how much it must hurt but with the love of all your friends you’ll get through this. We will support and be there for you
Whilst this has been such a tough time for you it’s one you can learn from. You won’t make the same mistakes again and are free of a toxic person from your life. It’s hard now but eventually you’ll look back on this and see it as positive that has allowed you to grow
He is a complete idiot and has made the worst mistake of his life. He’s lost the most amazing, beautiful and smart girl he will ever meet – you! You are so much better than him and lucky to be rid of that jerk
I will always have your back and be there when you need me. After such a messy breakup you can rely on friends to help and support you. And remember that with that love you will come through this and emerge stronger, with so much to look forward to in the future
No one deserves happiness and love as much as you do. I know how awful you must feel right now but with time you will find the right person
Lets get off of Facebook and Instagram and help you forget and get a break from seeing your ex. I’ll help you through this and be there to make sure you’re alright
I know you’re hurting now but that’s natural. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s ok to feel sad, angry and grieve your lost relationship. But you are strong and you will move on too.
Comforting Words for Someone Going Through a Breakup
As each minute passes you’re closer to getting over and through this. Just keep going, taking it slowly and you will begin to see the light. I’m always here
I’m going to keep texting you every single night to check in and make sure you’re ok.
Each day will get easier and you’ll start to feel like you did before. Just know it takes time and remember you have so many people around you who love you
You did nothing wrong. Sometimes people just aren’t meant for one another but it isn’t your fault.
Don’t ever feel embarrassed that you’re hurting. For a relationship like yours to have ended is heartbreaking and no one thinks anything else.
It’s ok to cry, and it’s ok to be sad. It’s natural and it’s normal.
You are so much more than this relationship. Don’t forget that.
You may have loved your ex but you’ll come too see they weren’t right for you. You deserve much better
Don’t beat yourself up or punish yourself over this. Sometimes relationships don’t work. That doesn’t mean you failed
Funny Messages for After a Breakup
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because that asshole is finally someone else’s problem
Let’s celebrate your breakup with a night out that produces enough awesome Facebook pictures he’ll have to see them
Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives and make us want to leave footprints on their face
Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience
“I think… therefore, I’m single” – Lizzie Winstead
The best revenge against a woman who steals your man from you is to let her keep him
“I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose” – Rita Rudner
Congratulations on your break up! Nobody could stand that bastard any way
“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else” – Mae West
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire
Ways to Cheer Someone Up After a Breakup Over Text
I’m here if there’s anything you need. I can bring you wine or ice cream!
Let’s go out, just us girls/guys and forget about exes and enjoy ourselves
I know you may not be ready but whenever you are I’m always here to talk
If you want to get angry or just vent to someone then let me be that person
I know you’re feeling bad but remember: you are awesome. Don’t forget it
I love you and am always here for you. Friends are more important than stupid exes
More important than anything else is loving and believing in yourself. Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself
You can’t count on exes but your friends are the ones you can always rely on. We’ve got your back
Quotes for Healing After a Breakup
“He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn’t love me anymore, and it’s not the end of the world” – Jennifer Weiner
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something” – Elizabeth Gilbert
“Hearts live by being wounded” – Oscar Wilde
“Everyone’s allowed to be in love with the wrong person at some point. In fact, it’s a mistake not to be” – Harriet Evans
“If you have to force it, it’s not for you. Love should come with ease, freedom and space to expand” – Alex Elle
“One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved” – Romain Rolland
“You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else” – Cheryl Strayed
“I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Breakups are always absolutely devastating for those involved. As a friend it can be hard to know what to say to someone going through a breakup and how to comfort them.
Hopefully the tips, example messages and quotes here will have helped you offer the support and comfort someone needs after a breakup.