After losing someone many families don’t want a formal gathering in something like a rented hall. They want people back at their house, maybe putting the kettle on with everyone squeezed around the kitchen table telling stories. I’ve been to receptions like that before and they make for some of the warmest goodbyes I’ve been … Read more
Being given the job of leading an ash scattering ceremony is quite a lot of pressure. You don’t get a rehearsal, no one gives you a running order and everyone standing there is hoping you’ll know what to do. I’ve been to a few of them, sometimes helping a family get the words together the … Read more
It can feel very strange when you hear an ex has died. You don’t experience the grief of losing someone you were still building a life with, but it’s something thats harder to explain. You loved this person once. Maybe you built a home together, or maybe it was a short romance years ago. And … Read more
When I first brought something other than flowers to my dad’s grave I was worried I was going to be breaking a rule I wasn’t aware I’d. It wasn’t anything special, just a pebble my niece had painted with his initials on. I put it on the base of the headstone and was fretting during … Read more
When someone you love dies you might find you’re grieving and having to make decisions at the same time. And one of the first big decisions is what kind of send off to hold. A funeral? A celebration of life? Are those even different things? If you’re dealing with this now then this guide is … Read more
Choosing what to engrave on an urn can become a big decision. Much like memorial plaques and headstones it feels impassible trying to fit someone’s entire life onto something so small. An urn is tiny compared to a person. The space you have to engrave is smaller still. And you have to find a way … Read more
When my aunt passed away the house filled up with flowers faster than any of us could keep track of. We had arrangements on the kitchen table, the sideboard, even along the hallway floor because we’d run out of surfaces. And about a week later, once the funeral was over and the visitors had gone … Read more
It’s one of the most nerve wracking few seconds of any funeral or wake. The family is right there in front of you and you have people in a line behind you and you’re trying to remember what you planned to say. Your brain has just gone completely blank. I’ve frozen in a receiving line … Read more
A few years ago a friend of mine sat in her car outside a funeral home for almost an hour trying to decide if she should go in. The person the funeral was for was her father. They hadn’t spoken in six years. During the drive over she kept asking herself something I’ve heard quite … Read more
In the past I’ve been asked to come up with keepsake cards to be handed out at a funeral service. You’ve probably held one yourself – a small card, usually with a photo on the front and a few lines on the back. It was much more difficult than I had first thought it would … Read more