When you lose a friend its hard to put into words how it feels. They’re someone that knew you in a way nobody else did.
They’re the person you had inside jokes with, late night phone calls, the one you texted first when something good or something awful happened, shared the food and bad times. When they’re gone the world feels a little quieter.
If you’ve been asked to read something at their funeral or you just want the right words for a card or a tribute a poem can help with saying what you can’t quite manage. Funeral poems can do that for you.
I’ve tried to find the poems that suit a friendship rather than a parent or a partner. Some are short enough for a card others long enough to stand on their own as a reading.
A few are old and beautiful and free for anyone to use and a few are modern favorites you’ve probably heard at a service before.
Short Funeral Poems for a Friend
If you want something brief for a card, the order of service, or to read without your voice giving out halfway through etc. then these short poems say a lot in a few words.
Music, When Soft Voices Die
Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory—
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.
Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the belovèd’s bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.
By Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Warm Summer Sun
Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
By Mark Twain
A short poem doesn’t try to explain the loss or wrap it up in a simple way. If you need a few more like these our collection of short funeral verses for cards has plenty.
Funeral Poems About Friendship and Letting Go
These are about the friend who’s gone, almost like you’re still talking to them. I always find that comforting. The relationship doesn’t just stop because they died.
Death Is Nothing at All
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
By Henry Scott Holland
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No Longer Mourn for Me (Sonnet 71)
No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so,
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot,
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay;
Lest the wise world should look into your moan,
And mock you with me after I am gone.
By William Shakespeare
That second one is Shakespeare basically telling a friend not to grieve too long, which is such a generous, friend-shaped thing to say. If you’re also writing or speaking at the service, my eulogy examples for a best friend pair really well with a reading like this.
Comforting Funeral Poems for a Best Friend
Losing a best friend is even harder than losing just a friend. These two by Christina Rossetti are unflinching but gentle at the same time, which is why they get read at so many funerals.
Remember
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
By Christina Rossetti
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When I Am Dead, My Dearest
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
By Christina Rossetti
If your friend was someone you’ve already lost touch with, or the grief is mixed up with some regret, you might find our quotes about losing a friend says some of what a poem can’t.
Peaceful Funeral Poems for a Friend
Sometimes you just want a poem that feels peaceful. Not sad exactly but more at peace. This one’s a classic for a reason.
Crossing the Bar
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For though from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
By Alfred, Lord Tennyson
If your friend had strong faith or you want readings that are more spiritual the Catholic funeral readings and our sympathy poems collection give you more along the same lines.
Popular Modern Poems People Read for a Friend
Its very likely you’ll have heard a few of these at funerals. I’m not going to print them here because they’re still under copyright and the families who wrote them deserve the credit but here’s what each one is and why it works for a friend, so you can look them up and read the real thing.
- The Dash by Linda Ellis — all about the little line between the birth date and the death date on a headstone and how the dash is the life that was lived.
- Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye — the famous one where the person says they’re not really gone, they’re the wind, the snow, the sunlight.
- She Is Gone (He Is Gone) by David Harkins — gives you a choice between crying that they’re gone or smiling that they lived. Often read because it moves you towards celebrating the friendship.
- Footprints in the Sand — a favorite for those with faith about being carried through the hardest times. A good fit if your friend has a strong faith that meant a lot to them.
- Miss Me but Let Me Go — exactly what the title says, a friend’s permission to grieve and then keep living.
- Afterglow by Helen Lowrie Marshall — asks to be remembered for the happy times and the warmth left behind rather than the sadness.
You’ll find all of these on the official poetry sites, in funeral planning guides etc. If you read one aloud just check the wording from a proper source so you’ve got it right on the day.
How to Choose a Funeral Poem for a Friend
If you’re look at all these poems and not sure which to choose a few things can help:
- Match it to them, not to the occasion. A funny friend might suit something lighter. A quiet, thoughtful one might suit Rossetti. The best poem is the one that sounds like your friend.
- Read it out loud first. Some poems look beautiful on the page and don’t work when you say them or they’re just too long for the moment. It’s good to time yourself too.
- Pick the length you can get through. Grief does strange things to your voice. A short poem you can finish will be better than a long one you can’t.
- It’s fine to read someone else’s words. You don’t have to write something original. Choosing the right poem shows you care about them too.
If nerves are an issue you don’t have to be the one to read it. Ask a friend or split it so a couple of you share the words. Our guide on what to say at a funeral has more on getting through the day itself.
A Few Final Words
There’s no poem that makes losing a friend any easier. That’s not what they’re for.
What a good poem does is let everyone in the room feel, for a minute, exactly what you felt about the person you’ve lost.
Whatever you choose the fact that you’re searching for the right words at all says everything about the kind of friend you were back.
If you need more our poems about grief and goodbye quotes can help in the weeks after and condolence messages for a friend are there if you’re supporting someone else through this too.
