How to Hold a Pet Funeral at Home: A Step by Step Guide

When my dog passed away I didn’t know what I supposed to do next. The vet had talked through the options but there’s a lot more to consider.

Where do you put her/him. Who do you tell. Are you allowed to just bury him/her in the yard by the tree she loved to sleep under.

It turns out you can do a lot more than you think. In fact holding a funeral for your pet at home is not only allowed in most places it provides a great way to say goodbye and help heal the grief.

A little ceremony in the backyard or the living room gives everyone, kids included, the chance to say a proper goodbye.

If you want to hold a pet funeral it doesn’t have to be super special or expensive.

So this guide will take you through how hold a pet funeral from a dog, cat, rabbit, horse or any animal who shared your life.

I’ll go through the practical side, like checking your local burial rules and what you’ll need. Then there’s the ceremony itself, so ideas for including children and a few ways to remember your pet long after the day is done.

Why Hold a Pet Funeral at Home

A home pet funeral lets you grieve in your own space, at your own pace, surrounded by the people who understand what your pet meant to you.

For a lot of families it’s also the most natural choice. Your pet lived in that home.

They knew the smell of your garden and everything that made up your space. Saying goodbye there, rather than in a clinical or unfamiliar place, can feel like the right thing to do.

It’s usually much cheaper too. Which sounds a bit uncaring but pet funeral homes and cemeteries can be surprisingly expensive.

They absolutely do beautiful work but not everyone can or wants to go that route. A backyard ceremony costs almost nothing and to many families will mean more.

And perhaps most importantly holding the funeral at home lets you personalize every part of it. You choose the spot, the words, the music and who comes. All of it will reflect the animal you loved.

Before You Begin: Check Your Local Burial Laws

This isn’t something most per owners want to think about at this time having just lost them but it matters.

Burying a pet in your own yard is legal in many areas but not everywhere. Some towns and cities have rules about it and a few don’t allow home pet burial altogether.

Others are fine with it but ask that you follow certain guidelines like burying at a minimum depth or keeping the grave a set distance from water sources, property lines and wells.

A few things worth checking before you dig:

• Is home pet burial permitted where you live. A quick call to your local council, city office or animal control can confirm this
• How deep the grave needs to be. Three feet is a common guideline, deeper for larger animals, to keep wildlife from disturbing the site
• Where you’re allowed to dig. Keep well away from water lines, drains and the boundary of your property
• Any rules around pets that were euthanized as the medication used can be harmful to wildlife if the grave is too shallow

If you rent your home or if you think you might move before too long it’s worth thinking about this now. Some people go for a cremation partly so they can take their pet’s ashes with them wherever they go.

What You’ll Need

You don’t need much and there’s a good chance you have most of it already. Get what you can ahead of time so you’re not rushing around trying to find it on the day.

• Something soft to wrap your pet in, like their favorite blanket, a towel or a cushion they loved
• A container if you’re burying them. This could be a wooden or wicker pet casket, a sturdy box or the blanket itself. Choose natural materials that will break down over time
• A shovel and, if the ground is hard, a pickaxe or garden fork
• Flowers, either cut from the garden or bought, to lay on or near the grave
• A candle or two if you’d like to light one during the ceremony
• Any keepsakes you want to include, like a collar, a favorite toy or a handwritten note
• Something to mark the spot afterward like a stone, a plaque or a plant

If you’re going with a cremation instead you’ll want an urn or keepsake box ready for when the ashes come home.

How to Hold a Pet Funeral at Home Step by Step

Here’s the heart of it. Take these steps at whatever speed feels right. There’s no timetable and nobody is watching the clock.

1. Choose the Location

Pick a spot that meant something to your pet or to you. Maybe it’s under the tree they always napped beneath, the corner of the yard they patrolled or a part of the yard that get some lovely morning light. If you’re keeping the ceremony indoors then the living room or wherever they spent their days works.

If you’re burying your pet the location of the ceremony and the grave will often be the same place. If you’re cremating you have more freedom to hold the service wherever feels right.

2. Decide on Burial or Cremation

This is usually settled before the funeral itself often with help from your vet. Home burial is simple and keeps your pet close but it does tie their resting place to your current home. Cremation, be it through your vet or a pet crematorium, gives you ashes you can keep, scatter or bury in a place you like.

3. Prepare Your Pet

Wrap your pet in their blanket or lay them in their casket. Some people like to put a favorite toy in beside them or a small note.

If you’re not ready to say goodbye straight away many families choose to keep their pet at home for a few hours or even overnight. You can lay them somewhere cool and quiet on their familiar bedding and then sit with them a while longer. Wanting to spend a bit more time together is very understandable.

4. Set the Date and Invite People

A pet funeral can be just you if that’s what you’d like or it can include family, friends and anyone else who loved your animal.

If you do want others there let them know beforehand. You might send a short pet death announcement to close friends and family so they can come and pay their respects or send a few kind words if they can’t make it.

5. Plan the Order of the Ceremony

Having an order helps the day flow and takes the pressure off you to think on your feet. It doesn’t need to be anything special but something ways to follow like this:

• A few opening words to welcome everyone and explain why you’re there
• A eulogy or a shared moment where people tell stories and happy memories
• A reading, a poem or a favorite piece of music
• The burial or the placing of the ashes
• A closing thought, a moment of quiet or the laying of flowers

Writing a few lines about your pet ahead of time can really help. If you’re not sure where to start our examples for a dog eulogy and a cat eulogy will give you something to work from.

6. Hold the Service

When the moment comes then just let it happen. If you want to light a candle or say a few words then do so. Let the children speak if they want to. Play a special song if it’s right.

If words are too much for you then you can just stand together in silence or read something written by someone else. That’s what readings are for.

7. The Burial or Scattering

Lower your pet into the grave or put their casket and take a moment before you fill it in. Some families like everyone to add a handful of earth or a flower first.

If you’re scattering ashes instead pick a place that mattered and take your time. We’ve got some guidance on what to say when scattering ashes if you’d like a few words to help.

Once the grave is filled or the ashes are laid mark the spot however feels right.

Readings, Poems and Words for a Pet Funeral

Finding the right words is one of the hardest parts so look to the words of others when you need to. A short reading is helpful when you fear you’re going ti struggle to get through the ceremony with your own words.

Poetry is lovely for this. Our collection of pet loss poems has verses you can read aloud through tears and pieces like The Rainbow Bridge have brought comfort to countless pet owners over the years.

A favorite quote works just as well and you’ll find plenty in our loss of dog quotes and loss of cat quotes.

If you’d rather say something of your own then it’s best to keep it simple. A few sentences about what your pet meant to you is a good place to Strat.

This is a short blessing you can read at the graveside or borrow from.

And if you just need a line or two to open or close the ceremony any of these work.

We’re here today to say goodbye to a friend who asked for so little and gave us everything. Thank you for a life well loved.

******************

You filled our home with noise and fur and joy. The house is quieter now, but our hearts are fuller for having known you.

******************

Goodbye, sweet friend. Run free, sleep easy and know that you were loved every single day.

Including Children in a Pet Funeral

For a lot of kids a pet is their first real experience of death. So how we handle it will have a big impact on how they’ll come to understand and deal with loss in the future.

A home funeral is a good chance to help them grieve in a healthy, open way rather than having the pet simply disappear one day.

Give them a role if they want one. Children will surprise you with how much they want to help.

Some ideas that usually work well:

• Letting them draw a picture or write a letter to include beside their pet
• Asking them to choose a favorite toy to bury or keep
• Having them pick flowers for the grave
• Inviting them to say a few words or share a favorite memory
• Letting them help decorate or paint the grave marker afterward

Keep your language simple and honest with younger ones. The truth is kinder than confusing euphemisms in the long run.

And let them see you grieve too. It teaches them that sadness is nothing to hide away from.

Ways to Remember Your Pet Afterward

The funeral is a beginning as much as an ending. Once the day is done a small memorial gives you somewhere to return to when you miss them, which will be a lot at first.

Some ideas that families find comforting:

• A grave marker or stone, plain or engraved with their name and a short line
• Planting something over or near the grave, like a rose bush, a tree or your pet’s favorite flower, so the spot grows and changes with the seasons
• A memorial shelf or small altar at home with their collar, a photo, a candle etc
• Keepsakes made from ashes, such as jewelry, glass art or a paw print cast
• A framed photo or a printed keepsake box for their tags and toys

If you’d like something more lasting to our roundup of pet loss gift ideas has keepsakes and memorial pieces that make thoughtful reminders for yourself or for someone else who’s grieving a pet.

It’s also worth thanking the people who helped you through it. If your vet was kind during your pet’s final days a short note goes a long way and we’ve got help with writing a thank you note to a veterinarian after a pet’s death.

Final Thoughts

However you choose to say goodbye, be it a full ceremony in the backyard with the whole family or a candle lit in a room, you’re doing a loving thing.

If you’re supporting someone else through this rather than grieving your own pet, you might find our thoughts on what to say to someone whose dog died and our collection of pet condolence messages helpful for finding the right words.

Pet Funeral at Home FAQs

Is it legal to bury my pet in my backyard?

In many areas yes, but not all. Rules vary by town and state and some places prohibit home pet burial or require a minimum grave depth and distance from water sources. Check with your local council or animal control before you dig, especially if your pet was euthanized as the medication can harm wildlife if the grave is too shallow.

How deep should I bury my pet?

A common guideline is at least three feet deep and deeper for larger animals. A grave that’s too shallow can be disturbed by wildlife so err on the side of digging deeper if you can. Always wrap your pet in a natural material like a cotton blanket or a wooden or wicker casket rather than plastic.

What can I say at a pet funeral?

Anything honest. A few words about what your pet meant to you, a happy memory or a favorite quote all work well. If words are hard try reading a poem or a short blessing instead. There are plenty of readings and quotes to borrow from.

How do I help my child through a pet’s funeral?

Include them, keep your language simple and honest and give them a role if they’d like one, like drawing a picture, choosing flowers or saying a few words. Let them see that grief is normal and that it’s okay to be sad. For many children this is their first experience of loss and handling it openly helps them so much.

Should I bury or cremate my pet?

Both are fine choices. Burial keeps your pet close but ties their resting place to your current home. Cremation gives you ashes you can keep, scatter or bury anywhere, which suits families who rent or expect to move. Your vet can help you arrange either so choose whatever brings you the most peace.