We send and receive sympathy cards after a loss. And those can be a real comfort when we’re grieving.
But a poem can do more. When you lose your mom poems can remind you that somebody else has felt exactly the same way and somehow found words for it.
This page is a little different from our funeral poems for mom which are mostly pieces chosen to be read aloud at a service. These are the poems for after.
For that first Mother’s Day without her or that moment you reach for the phone to call her and then remember. A few are classics that have comforted people for well over a century. Most are originals I’ve written for the site and you’re welcome to use them in a card, a caption or a memorial book, or just keep them for yourself.
And if it helps at all to know you’re not alone, you really aren’t. According to the U.S. Census Bureau about a quarter of adults in their late 40s have already lost their mother and by the early 60s it’s roughly 7 in 10. That’s a lot of people walking around with the same hole in their day.
Poems for the First Days Without Her
The first days are strange. There’s so much to do and then all of a sudden there’s nothing to do at all. These poems are for when you’re in a sort of in between state and the house is too quiet and the world hasn’t caught up yet.
The Bustle in a House
The Bustle in a House
The Morning after Death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted upon Earth,
The Sweeping up the Heart
And putting Love away
We shall not want to use again
Until Eternity.
By Emily Dickinson
I love that Dickinson calls it an “industry.” Anyone who has sorted a mom’s closet or written thank-you notes the week after a funeral knows that’s exactly what it feels like.
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Your coffee cup is in the sink.
I haven’t washed it yet.
It feels like if I leave it there
the day will not forget
that you were here on Tuesday,
humming while you read,
and wiping crumbs I couldn’t see
off counters by the bread.
So let it sit. Let dishes wait.
Let phone calls go to tone.
I’m not ready to be someone
who washes your cup alone.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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For all my life, when something happened,
good or bad or small,
my hand went for the phone before
my head had thought at all.
I’d tell you about the doctor,
the neighbor’s leaning tree,
the way the kids were growing up
too fast for you and me.
Today I picked the phone up
and held it for a while.
I didn’t dial. I just stood there.
And somewhere, Mom, you smiled.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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Nobody tells you it will be the small things.
Not the casket or the hymns
or the casseroles stacked three deep in the fridge.
It’s her handwriting on the flour jar.
It’s the grocery list in her purse
that says bananas, stamps, call Jamie.
It’s the voicemail you can’t delete
and can’t quite play.
Nobody tells you that grief
lives in the junk drawer,
in the coat that still smells like her,
in the way you say “my mom”
and then have to decide
which tense to use.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Poems About Missing Your Mom
Missing her doesn’t really arrive all at once. It turns up when you least expect it. If you’re looking for shorter lines to share our I miss you mom quotes might help too.
Mother o’ Mine
If I were hanged on the highest hill,
Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine.
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine.
If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine.
I know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine.
If I were damned of body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine.
By Rudyard Kipling
Kipling wrote this as the dedication to his 1891 novel The Light That Failed. It’s short and a little old-fashioned, but the idea underneath it is timeless. There’s one person whose love follows you anywhere.
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I still save the good news up
to tell you on the weekend.
I still buy the lemon soap
you swore was worth the spending.
I still hear you in the hallway
when the house is settling down.
I still look for you in crowds
every time I go to town.
They say the missing softens.
Maybe someday it will.
But I’m not sure I want it to.
It’s how I hold you still.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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I’m scared I’ll lose your voice first.
Not your face. I have the photos.
Not your laugh. That’s on the video
from the Christmas the dog stole the ham.
Your plain voice. The everyday one.
The one that said “drive safe”
and “did you eat”
and “call me when you get there.”
So I say it to myself in the car.
Drive safe. Did you eat.
Call me when you get there.
I’m trying to keep the sound of you
somewhere I can find it.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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You’re in the way I fold the towels,
in thirds, the way you showed.
You’re in the gravy that I stir
until it’s thick and slow.
You’re in the hum I didn’t know
I’d picked up as a kid,
in every “bless you,” every “hush,”
in everything you did.
I used to think that I was only
partly made of you.
But every room I walk in now,
I find you walking too.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Classic Poems About Losing a Mother
People have been writing about this exact grief for hundreds of years. These older poems are all in the public domain so you can print them, frame them or read them at a memorial without worrying about permissions.
Rock Me to Sleep (the first two verses)
Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight,
Make me a child again just for tonight.
Mother, come back from the echoless shore,
Take me again to your heart as of yore;
Kiss from my forehead the furrows of care,
Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair;
Over my slumbers your loving watch keep;
Rock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep.
Backward, flow backward, O tide of the years.
I am so weary of toil and of tears,
Toil without recompense, tears all in vain,
Take them, and give me my childhood again.
I have grown weary of dust and decay,
Weary of flinging my soul-wealth away;
Weary of sowing for others to reap;
Rock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep.
By Elizabeth Akers Allen
This one was hugely popular back in the 1860s and was even set to music. That opening line still gets me. Who hasn’t wished for one more night of being looked after?
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On the Receipt of My Mother’s Picture (an excerpt)
Oh that those lips had language. Life has passed
With me but roughly since I heard thee last.
Those lips are thine, thy own sweet smile I see,
The same that oft in childhood solaced me.
…
My mother, when I learned that thou wast dead,
Say, wast thou conscious of the tears I shed?
Hovered thy spirit o’er thy sorrowing son,
Wretch even then, life’s journey just begun?
By William Cowper
Cowper lost his mother when he was only six. Around fifty years later a cousin mailed him a small portrait of her, and this long poem poured out of him. If you’ve ever found an old photo of your mom in a drawer and had to sit down on the floor, this is for you.
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The Death-Bed
We watched her breathing through the night,
Her breathing soft and low,
As in her breast the wave of life
Kept heaving to and fro.
So silently we seemed to speak,
So slowly moved about,
As we had lent her half our powers
To eke her living out.
Our very hopes belied our fears,
Our fears our hopes belied;
We thought her dying when she slept,
And sleeping when she died.
For when the morn came dim and sad,
And chill with early showers,
Her quiet eyelids closed. She had
Another morn than ours.
By Thomas Hood
Hood is believed to have written this about his sister, but it’s been read for mothers for generations. If you sat by your mom’s bed at the end, that third verse will probably feel painfully familiar.
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To My Mother
Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of “Mother,”
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you,
You who are more than mother unto me,
And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you
In setting my Virginia’s spirit free.
My mother, my own mother, who died early,
Was but the mother of myself; but you
Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,
And thus are dearer than the mother I knew
By that infinity with which my wife
Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.
By Edgar Allan Poe
A bit of background helps here. Poe’s own mother died when he was two, and this sonnet is actually addressed to his mother-in-law, who cared for him after his wife died. I’ve included it because it’s such a good fit for anyone who lost a stepmom, a mother-in-law or the woman who simply showed up and mothered them.
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To My Mother
You too, my mother, read my rhymes
For love of unforgotten times,
And you may chance to hear once more
The little feet along the floor.
By Robert Louis Stevenson
Just four lines, from A Child’s Garden of Verses. It’s lovely written inside a card or under a photo of you and your mom when you were small.
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Only One Mother
Hundreds of stars in the pretty sky,
Hundreds of shells on the shore together,
Hundreds of birds that go singing by,
Hundreds of lambs in the sunny weather.
Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
By George Cooper
Poems From a Daughter
A lot of us spend years insisting we’re nothing like our mom then one day we catch ourselves in the mirror and there she is. These are for that.
I noticed it today while I was cooking.
My hands. The knuckles. How the ring sits loose.
They’re yours. When did that happen?
When did I start to look like you
from the wrist down?
I used to watch these hands braid my hair
before school, too tight, and I’d complain.
I watched them sign permission slips
and wave from the kitchen window
and hold a mug of tea in both palms
like it was something to keep warm.
Now I do that. I hold my tea like that.
I didn’t learn it. I just became it.
Mom, I have your hands.
So in a way you’re still here,
stirring the soup.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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We fought about my curfew,
about the boy, about my hair.
I swore I’d never be like you,
and you just let me swear.
You knew I’d come around someday.
You knew the long way back.
You left the porch light burning
and the back door on the latch.
I’m grown now, and I’m grateful,
and I’m more like you than not.
I wish I’d said it louder, Mom,
for all the years we got.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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What was your mother like?
What did you want to be before us?
Did you ever regret moving here?
What was the song at your wedding,
and did you really like it,
or did Dad pick it?
How did you make the pie crust
so it never cracked?
Were you scared, at the end?
I thought there would be more time
for the boring questions.
Turns out those were the ones
I needed most.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Poems From a Son
Sons will say they’re not “poem people” but need something anyway. These are written for that purpose. No flowery stuff just the things a lot of guys feel and don’t always say.
I wasn’t great at saying it.
I’d mumble “love you” at the door,
then hug you with one arm, the way
I’d always done before.
But you never seemed to mind it.
You’d hold on a little long
and pat my back three times like you
were tapping out a song.
So here it is, out loud, Mom,
with nobody to hear.
Thank you. I love you.
I wish you were still here.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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You called me when the faucet dripped,
when the smoke alarm chirped at 3 a.m.,
when the TV did “the thing again.”
I’d sigh and drive across town
with a toolbox I didn’t need.
Half the time it was nothing.
A plug pulled out. A remote upside down.
It took me years to figure out
you didn’t need a handyman.
You needed an hour with your boy.
I’d give anything for one more
dripping faucet, Mom.
I’d come right over.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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Before I had a name for anything,
I had your heartbeat.
Before I knew the word for safe,
I knew your arms.
I’ve lived in a lot of places since,
apartments, dorms, a house I’m proud of,
but you were my first home.
Nobody warns you that losing your mother
means losing the place you started.
I’m still learning how to stand
on ground that isn’t you.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Poems for Mother’s Day, Her Birthday and Other Hard Days
Some days on the calendar are going to be harder than others. Mother’s Day is the obvious one, but her birthday, the anniversary and the holidays can catch you off guard and really cause some strong emotions. If you’re writing a message for her birthday take a look at our happy birthday in heaven mom wishes and for the anniversary of her passing our death anniversary quotes might help.
The stores are full of tulips
and cards in pink and gold,
and every ad keeps telling me
to call you, just to hold
a little bit of time with you.
I’d buy out every rack.
I’d wait in any brunch line, Mom,
if it would bring you back.
So I’ll buy the tulips anyway
and set them where you’d see.
Happy Mother’s Day up there.
You’re still the one to me.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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I still put it on the calendar.
I didn’t even think.
I wrote your name in the little square
in the same blue ink
I’ve used since I was twelve, the year
I made you that clay bowl.
You kept it on the windowsill.
You said you loved it whole,
the crooked rim, the thumbprint dents.
I found it yesterday.
I’m keeping it on mine now, Mom.
Happy birthday, anyway.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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They told me the first year is the hardest.
They didn’t tell me why.
It’s because every day is a first.
The first spring she didn’t see the lilacs.
The first Fourth of July.
The first time I made her potato salad
and got it wrong.
Today is the last first.
Tomorrow starts the second year,
and I’m scared of that too.
Of the days when it isn’t new anymore,
just true.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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Her chair is at the table still.
We didn’t have the heart
to push it back against the wall
before the meal could start.
Somebody told the story
of the year the turkey burned.
We laughed until we cried a bit,
and here is what we learned.
She isn’t gone from Christmas.
She’s in the jokes, the pie,
the way her grandkids fight for rolls.
She’s every reason why.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
If the holidays are coming up and you’re worried about someone else in the family we have a page on what to say when it’s someone’s first holiday without a loved one.
Poems for a Long Illness or a Long Goodbye
When a mom is sick for a long time the grieving will start long before the funeral. People don’t always talk about that. You can be heartbroken and relieved at the same time.
You forgot my name in March.
By June you called me “dear,”
the way you’d greet the nurse at lunch
or anyone who came near.
I cried in the parking lot that day.
I came back the next week, though,
and held your hand and hummed the song
you sang me long ago.
You couldn’t place me anymore,
but your fingers found the beat.
Some part of you remembered, Mom.
Some part of you, so sweet
and certain underneath it all,
still knew the words were true.
I lost you slowly, piece by piece.
But I got to love you through.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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I watched you fight it every day,
the needles and the trays,
the hopeful talk on Mondays
that was gone by Thursdays.
You never once complained to me.
You asked about my life,
about the kids, about the job,
the house, the dog, the wife.
I’d give anything to have you back.
I’ll say that till I’m old.
But I’m glad that you’re not hurting, Mom.
I’m glad you’re not so cold.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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The machines got quieter near the end.
Someone turned the lights down low.
We took turns holding your hand
and telling you it was okay to go,
even though it wasn’t.
Even though none of us meant it.
I think you knew that.
I think you waited until we stepped out for coffee
because you always did hate
making a fuss.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Poems for a Sudden Loss
When it’s a sudden loss you don’t have any time to say the things you want to. No chance to get there.
There wasn’t any warning.
There wasn’t any time.
You were laughing on the phone on Sunday.
By Monday you were gone.
I keep replaying what we said.
Was it enough? Did I say love?
I think I did. I hope I did.
I’m almost sure I did.
Mom, if I didn’t, here it is.
I loved you every ordinary day.
You didn’t need a deathbed speech.
You knew. You always knew.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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There’s a sweater on your knitting needles,
one sleeve done.
A library book with a bookmark
at chapter seven.
Tomatoes on the windowsill
still turning red.
You meant to come back to all of it.
You meant to come back.
I can’t finish the sweater, Mom.
I never learned.
But I’ll finish the book for you
and tell you how it ends.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Poems for a Complicated Relationship
Not every mom was easy and not every relationship got tied up neatly before the end. If yours was messy you might feel like the usual “she was my best friend” poems just don’t fit. We’ve also got some wording for the loss of an estranged parent if you’re writing to someone in this spot.
It wasn’t simple, you and me.
It never really was.
We loved each other sideways,
the way that some folks do.
There were years we didn’t talk at all
and years we tried too hard,
and Christmas cards with just our names,
and one bad night out in the yard.
Now you’re gone and I’m still sorting
what was yours and what was mine.
I’m grieving the mom I had, and the one I wanted,
both at the same time.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you.
I’m working on it still.
Maybe grief and anger
can share one windowsill.
But I know you did your best
with what you had to give,
and some of what you couldn’t give
you never got to live.
So rest now, Mom. I’ll sort the rest.
It’s mine to carry through.
And underneath it all, I find,
I’m still missing you.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Short Poems for Cards, Captions and Keepsakes
Sometimes all you need is four lines. For a sympathy card, a memorial post, the back of a prayer card or a little frame next to her photo. If you’re writing to a friend who lost their mom our words of sympathy for loss of mother go well with any of these and there are more options in our short funeral verses for cards.
Her love was the first I knew,
and it will be the last to go.
She isn’t here to hold me now,
but she’s in everything I know.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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No matter how old I get
or how far I roam,
I’ll always be her child,
and she’ll always be my home.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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She always left the porch light on
for anyone out late.
I like to think she’s left one on
beside the heavenly gate.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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Missing her is just the love
with nowhere left to go.
So I’ll give it to the people
she taught me how to know.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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She planted things she’d never see,
the oak, the rose, the vine and me.
We’re growing still, the way she knew.
Mom, everything I grow is you.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
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“See you soon,” she always said,
and waved until I’d gone.
So “see you soon” is what I’ll say,
and keep on keeping on.
By Sally, Sympathy Message Ideas
Modern Poems About Losing a Mother Worth Looking Up
There are some wonderful modern poems about mothers that we can’t reprint here because they’re still under copyright. They’re easy to find online or in a library though.
- “The Lanyard” by Billy Collins. A funny, sweet poem about a gift he made his mom at summer camp and how it could never come close to everything she gave him. It’s a good one if your mom had a great sense of humor.
- “Clearances” by Seamus Heaney. A sequence of sonnets Heaney wrote after his mother died. The one about peeling potatoes with her while everyone else was at Mass is quietly beautiful.
- “Mother, A Cradle to Hold Me” by Maya Angelou. A warm, big hearted tribute to everything a mother is, and a lovely one to read on Mother’s Day.
- “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” by Mary Elizabeth Frye. Not written about a mother specifically but it’s one of the best loved memorial poems around, and it fits a mom beautifully.
Writing Your Own Poem for Your Mom
If none of these feel quite right you might want to try writing your own. I promise you don’t need to be a writer. Some of the most moving poems I’ve ever read were from someone who’d never written a poem in their life. A few things that help:
- Start with one object. Her reading glasses, her recipe box, the cardigan on the back of her chair. One real thing does more than a page of big words.
- Use her phrases. The things she always said, even the slightly annoying ones, are what make a poem sound like her.
- Forget about rhyming. Rhyme can be lovely but if it’s making you choose the wrong word, let it go.
- Talk to her, not about her. Writing “you” instead of “she” makes it feel more like a letter and that’s often easier.
- Read it out loud. You’ll hear the the bits that don’t work right away.
Our guide on how to write a tribute for a mother has more ideas if you’d like a little more help.
I hope one of these poems was right for you. And if you’re looking for something else our loss of mother quotes and prayers for loss of mother are there if you need them.
