I’ve had to help set up a few memory tables for both family and friends. One of those we (my friend and me) had a folding table borrowed from the church hall, a slightly wrinkled tablecloth and a shoebox full of photos that nobody had sorted in about twenty years. I remember thinking it looked more like a jumble sale.
Then my friend propped up a photo of my aunt in her garden laughing at something off camera and it all fell into place and just worked.
which is a good illustration of how a memory table works and what it does. It gives people somewhere to stand for a moment, to point and say “oh I remember that sweater” or “she never took that necklace off”. It gives people a way to start telling stories.
If you have been asked to put one together or you have decided you want one at the service this guide goes through the ideas that work.
What Is a Memory Table
A memory table is a display of photos, personal items and small keepsakes set up at a funeral, wake, memorial service or celebration of life. It usually sits near the entrance or somewhere guests naturally gather so people can look through it as they arrive.
There isn’t a set way they are done. Some are a single framed photo and a candle whereas others can fill a long table with albums, medals, a favorite hat and a bowl of the candy they always kept in their pocket.
Both would be fine. The table should look like the person and not like a shop window.
With more families choosing cremation and holding services on their own timeline (the National Funeral Directors Association projected the US cremation rate would pass 60 percent well before 2025) memory tables have become more common than ever. When there is no traditional graveside gathering the table becomes the heart of the room.
Start With the Basics: Table, Cloth and Location
Before you think about what goes on the table sort out the table itself. This is the boring part but it saves a lot of stress especially at the last minute.
- Pick a sturdy table. A medium folding table or a solid side table works well. You want something stable enough that a knocked elbow will not send frames flying.
- Choose the right spot. Near the entrance is the classic choice so guests see it as they walk in. Just make sure it is not blocking a doorway or an accessible route. Somewhere people can pause without creating a traffic jam is ideal.
- Cover it simply. A plain cloth in a color they loved, a piece of their favorite fabric or even an old quilt from their home all work beautifully. Don’t use anything too busy that competes with the photos.
- Think about height and layers. Flat tables look flat. Prop a few frames on small boxes or books hidden under the cloth so photos sit at different heights. It draws the eye and stops everything blurring together.
If the funeral home is hosting ask what they provide. Lots of them have tables, easels and even small display stands you can borrow which saves you bringing things from home.
Photo Display Ideas
Photos are the heart of almost every memory table. They are the thing guests reach for first and linger over longest. This is how to make them work.
Mix the Formal With the Candid
A wall of stiff portrait photos can feel a little cold. The magic is in the mix.
Have the smart wedding photo with the blurry one of them mid laugh at a barbecue. The candid shots are the ones that make people say “that is exactly how I remember them”.
Try to gather photos from across their whole life too. Baby pictures, awkward teenage years, their thirties, right up to recent ones. Seeing a life laid out end to end is moving in a way a single era never is.
Vary Your Frames
You do not need a matching set. In fact mismatched frames often look warmer and more personal.
Thrift stores and drawers around the house will give you plenty. Vintage frames for the old black and white photos, simple modern ones for recent shots. Different shapes and sizes at different heights keeps the eye moving.
Make a Photo Board or Collage
If you have loads of photos and not much table space a foam board or a corkboard collage is a brilliant fix. You can fit dozens of pictures in one place, and guests love scanning them to find themselves.
Some families print one big collage poster instead. It travels well and becomes a keepsake for the family afterward.
Add a Digital Frame or Slideshow
A small digital photo frame quietly cycling through images adds movement and lets you show far more photos than you could ever print. If there is a screen at the venue, a looping slideshow set to their favorite music can be its own tribute. Just test it beforehand so you are not trying to fix cables during the service.
Personal Items and Keepsakes to Include
This is where a memory table stops being generic and starts being really reflective of them. Photos show a face. Objects show a life.
You just have to choose things that make people smile in recognition.
- Things they always had on them. A watch, a pair of reading glasses, a favorite scarf, the keyring they carried for decades.
- Hobby and passion items. A fishing reel, knitting needles mid project, a paintbrush, a well thumbed cookbook, a golf ball, a set of dominoes.
- Work and achievement. Medals, a name badge, a tool from their trade, a diploma, a photo of them in uniform.
- Little comforts. The brand of tea they drank, a bar of their chocolate, the candy they kept in a jar. These tiny domestic details land harder than you would expect.
- Handwriting. A recipe card in their writing, an old letter, a signed birthday card. Seeing their handwriting again stops people in their tracks.
You do not need many. Three or four well chosen objects say more than a table crammed with everything from the attic. Pick the things that tell a story someone in that room will recognize.
Candles, Flowers and Finishing Touches
Once the photos and keepsakes are down a few finishing touches pull the table together and give it that warm glow that makes people want to stand near it.
- Candles. A single memorial candle or a small cluster adds instant warmth. If the venue is fussy about open flames then flameless LED candles look convincing and are far safer around paper photos.
- Flowers. A small bunch of flowers in their favorite color or a bloom that meant something to them, softens the whole display. It does not need to be a grand arrangement. If people are sending flowers, a single stem from an arrangement works. Our guide to funeral flower messages can help if you are also writing a card.
- String lights. A few warm fairy lights woven through the display especially for an evening service make it feel gentle rather than clinical.
- Something natural. A jar of shells for someone who loved the sea, a small potted plant for a gardener, a pine cone or two for a walker. Little nods to what they loved.
One tip on lighting – harsh overhead strip lighting can make even the loveliest table feel like a hospital corridor. If you can then add your own light source so faces and photos are easy to see without a spotlight glare.
Interactive Ideas
The best memory tables do not just get looked at. They give people something to do which is important when everyone is standing around not quite knowing what to say. A little activity gives grief somewhere to go.
A Guest Book or Memory Cards
Leave out a guest book, or even nicer, a stack of cards and a pen with a small sign asking people to write down a memory. “Share a story about him” or “Write down a moment you want us to keep”.
Families treasure these afterward often more than anything else on the table. If you want a keepsake version our post on what to say at a celebration of life has wording ideas that work just as well written down.
A Memory Jar
A glass jar, slips of paper and a pen. Guests write a memory and drop it in.
By the end of the day the jar is full and the family can read them together in the weeks after when the house has gone quiet and they need them most.
A Memory Tree
A branch in a vase or a small tree with paper leaves or tags guests write on and hang. It slowly fills up over the course of the gathering and becomes a living, growing tribute rather than a static one.
A Playlist or Songbook
If music was their thing leave out a list of their favorite songs or invite people to add one. It gives you a playlist for the wake and a lovely record of what they loved.
Memory Table Ideas by Personality
If you are stuck for a direction let the table follow who they were. A themed table almost designs itself once you decide on the person at the center of it.
- The gardener. Terracotta pots, a trowel, seed packets, a jar of cut flowers from their own garden, a pair of well worn gardening gloves.
- The reader. A small stack of their favorite books, their reading glasses resting on top, a bookmark they used for years.
- The traveler. A globe or map, postcards, a passport, photos from trips, a souvenir or two from the places they loved.
- The cook or baker. A handwritten recipe card, a wooden spoon, their apron, a tin of the cookies they always made.
- The sports fan. A team scarf or shirt, a ticket stub, a signed program, a ball or a trophy.
- The musician. An instrument, sheet music, vinyl records, a photo of them playing.
- The veteran. Medals, a folded flag, a service photo, a cap or beret. If you are marking their service in words too, our tribute messages can help.
- The maker or craftsperson. Their tools, a half finished project, examples of what they built or sewed or carved.
The point is not to tick boxes but to pick the one or two things that made them unmistakably themselves and let those be the main focus of the table.
Labels, Captions and Signs
A memory table works even harder when the items have a little context. Not everyone in the room knew the person the same way and a few words make the story behind the items clear.
- Small caption cards. A folded card next to an item with a line like “Grandad’s fishing reel. He caught the biggest trout of his life with this in 1987 and never let us forget it”. That one sentence does more than the object alone ever could.
- A welcome sign. A simple sign at the front of the table sets the tone. Something warm and plain works best. “A few things that felt like her” or “Please stay a while and remember with us”
- A quote or line of verse. A short quote they loved or a line about remembrance printed and framed. Our collection of in loving memory quotes is full of options and if you want something more formal for a plaque or engraved sign the memorial plaque wording examples post has lots.
Ideas for a Celebration of Life
A memory table at a celebration of life can lean a little brighter than one at a traditional funeral. The mood is often about joy and gratitude rather than only grief so the table can be more colorful and playful.
So that means bright flowers over muted ones, photos of the good times front and center and maybe a themed touch that made everyone laugh. If they loved a particular drink, a small tribute to it.
If they had a catchphrase, print it and frame it. Some families set out a “leave a message” station with bright cards or a photo of them somewhere they were happiest as the centerpiece.
If you are still planning the day itself the celebration of life invitation wording guide can help you set the tone right from the invite.
Mistakes to Avoid
Every family that has done this learns a few lessons the hard way they wish they’d already known. These are the ones to know and what to avoid.
- Use copies of precious photos, not originals. Tables get bumped, drinks get spilled and things occasionally walk off. Print copies of anything irreplaceable and keep the originals safe at home.
- Be careful with valuables. A memory table is out in the open with a lot of people passing. Lovely as it is to display real jewelry or medals think about whether a photo of the item might be wiser or keep the valuable pieces where someone can keep an eye on them.
- Take a photo of the finished table. You will spend an hour making it beautiful and then be far too busy to appreciate it. A quick photo means you keep it. Families are often glad of that picture later.
- Set it up the night before if you can. The morning of a service is not the time to be arranging frames with shaking hands. Getting it done in advance is one less thing to carry.
- Let people help. Gathering photos and objects is a shared task that gives grieving relatives something to do together. You don’t have to build the table alone.
- Have a plan for afterward. Decide who is taking the table down and where everything goes. Photos and keepsakes have a way of getting scattered otherwise, and you will want them back.
Simple Memory Table Ideas
If you’re short on time or energy a simple table can be just as moving. These are a few easy setups that take very little to pull together.
- One large framed portrait, a single candle and a vase of flowers.
- Three framed photos, their glasses and one favorite object.
- A photo album left open beside a guest book.
- Their favorite hat or jacket laid neatly next to a framed photo.
- A small table with memory cards, a jar and a portrait. That’s it.
Nobody expects a showpiece. Guests notice the love behind it and not how much is on it.
Tips for Setting Up a Memory Table
- Ask a friend or relative to take charge of the table. It’s a good job for someone who keeps asking how they can help.
- Do a practice layout at home on the kitchen table and take a photo so you can copy it on the day.
- Use different heights. Stack a few books under a cloth or use small boxes to raise some items so the table doesn’t look flat.
- Put the main portrait at the back or center and smaller items toward the front.
- Leave valuable jewelry, watches and irreplaceable items at home, or keep them under a glass dome or in a closed case.
- Use copies of precious photos and letters rather than originals.
- Battery operated candles are safer and many venues prefer them. Ask before bringing real flames.
- Keep labels small and simple, such as “Grandpa’s fishing hat” or “Mom’s recipe box, 1970s”
- Bring tape, scissors, spare pens and a box for packing up.
- Ask one person to collect everything at the end so nothing gets left behind.
If you’re helping out at the gathering afterward our page on funeral reception etiquette covers the dos and don’ts for the rest of the day.
What to Do With the Items Afterward
When the service is over the items usually go back home. There’s no need to decide anything quickly.
Some families keep the table set up at home for a while. Others share small items among children and grandchildren or put the memory cards into an album with the program and a few photos.
Read the cards when you’re ready. Many people find they mean even more weeks later.
The same items can come out again on a birthday or anniversary. Our page on how to keep a loved one’s memory alive has more ideas for the months and years ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you put on a funeral memory table?
A mix of photos from across their life, a few personal items that capture who they were and soft touches like candles and flowers. Add caption cards to explain meaningful objects and add an interactive element such as a guest book or memory jar so guests can leave their own stories. Three or four well-chosen keepsakes usually work better than a table crammed with everything.
Where should the memory table go?
Near the entrance or somewhere guests naturally gather, so people see it as they arrive and can pause without blocking the way. Make sure the table is sturdy and the spot is easy for everyone to reach.
How big should a memory table be?
A medium folding or side table is plenty for most services. Match the size to the space and the number of guests. If you have a lot of photos and little room, a collage board or digital frame lets you show more without needing a bigger table.
What can I use instead of a memory table?
A photo collage board, a digital frame slideshow, a memory tree or a dedicated shelf all work if space is tight. At a celebration of life some families use several small displays around the room instead of one central table.
Who sets up the memory table?
Usually close family, often with help from friends. Many funeral homes will provide the table and stands and can help you arrange it. Sharing the job is a gentle way to involve people who want to do something but do not know how.
The Table Is Really About the Room
Nobody really remembers if the tablecloth matched the flowers. But they will remember standing beside a stranger, both of them looking at the same photo, one saying “did you know her too?” and the other saying “she taught me to drive”. That’s the point. The table is just the excuse to start talking.
So don’t worrying about putting out the blurry photos and the worn out hat and the recipe in their handwriting. Then let the room do the rest.
If you are pulling the wider day together too, our guides on how to write a eulogy and what to say at a celebration of life are good next stops.
